Hypnotyzing Weight Loss & Other Stuff

So like most people, I want to lose weight this year. I've done it before, and I'm gonna do it again. This time it's more intentional than the last. If I want to have a real shot at being with Dave, I have to lose the weight. I know I have to make a choice - the weight or the relationship. I can't have both. He's made that clear.

He's never mean to me about it. I can tell he does genuinely care about me and my healthy. He tells me he just wants me to be healthy. We have made a deal, so to speak. He has to get his sexy chest back and the dimples in his lower back. Those are the two things that were sexiest on him. I have to lose weight period. He wants me around 9 stone (126 lbs.). I think when I am at my goal, it will be more like 10 stone (140 lbs.). I think just losing 100 lbs. will make me feel so much better.

So to get where I need/want to be, I'm making some extreme choices. I'm going back to boxing the first week of February. (Fees are due the first week, and I came back from England in the middle of the second week of January. So this month is out.) Being so busy with an overloaded class schedule, I don't have a lot of time to make it to the gym. But going to the boxing studio a couple of times a week will help a lot and give me accountability. I've also made a choice on how to affect my eating in the meantime.

So what's the extreme choice I made to affect my eating? I went to a hypnotist. I've tried just about everything to lose weight, except what I did this week. My brother and his wife went with me. She went to the weight loss session with me and he went to the smoking cessation one. So far I've lost 7 pounds. That's very exciting considering the session was at 8 p.m. Tuesday.

It's been sort of weird. I don't remember how many things taste. I have no clue what ice cream, cake, chocolate, cookies or pudding tastes like. I only know that from the past I love that stuff and could easily eat loads of it. I have pretty much no desire to eat any of it anyway. Sometimes, out of habit, I open the freezer for the ice cream, but when I look at the carton, the feeling inside is empty. It's like I've never had it before, even though I know I've had it thousands of times.

Another strange thing that happened is that I eat very slowly. I try to eat faster because it seems like I'm taking too long. But I can't. It makes me feel sick. I had two boiled eggs and two pieces of toast the other morning for breakfast. It took me nearly 20 minutes to eat. Normally, I'd be done with that in 10 minutes or less. At dinner tonight, I ate every bit as slow as my mother who just had dental implants on Monday and can hardly chew anything at this point.

I'm not interested in food. In a way, that makes me sad. Food has been very meaningful to me. It has been my friend and my comfort and it is also a reminder of my dad. Being with my dad revolved around food. He loved to cook and loved to feed. It made him happy to see people eat and enjoy what they were eating. More positively, I am happy that I have lost interest in food because I don't obsess over it. I don't think about when I'm going to eat or what I'm going to eat. I feel full more quickly, and I can't eat nearly what I thought I could. Amazing.