Musical Mood

In a way, I need a change
From this burnout scene
Another time, another town, another everything
But it's always back to you
Stumble out in the night
From the pouring rain
Made the block, sat and thought
There's more I need
It's always back to you

But I'm good without ya
Yeah I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break til I shatter?
Over the line, can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break; let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time
But I'm shattered
I always turn the car around

I had no idea that the night
Would take so damn long
Took it out, on the street
While the rain still falls
Push me back to you

But I'm good without ya
Yeah I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break til I shatter?
Over the line, can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break; let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time
But I'm shattered
I always turn the car around

Give it up, give it up Baby
Give it up, give it up now, now

How many times can I break til I shatter?
Over the line, can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
All that I feel is the realness I'm faking
Taking my time
But its time that I'm wasting
I always turn the car around

How many times can I break til I shatter?
Over the line, can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Don't wanna turn that car around
I gotta turn this thing around

~Shattered, OAR

This song pretty well describes how I feel about my break-up with Dave. I'm doing really well on my own. I'm focused more on my classes and things are just more relaxed for me in general. I don't have to worry about spending time with him or whether he's going to be pissed off at me for no reason. But there are times when I really miss him and would like to be with him. He has a lot of really good qualities, but they are often overshadowed by his lack of basic respect and courtesy for me. It's nothing that can't be remedied. He has to recognize there is something wrong in him first. I can't do all the work.

I especially like the line that says, All that I feel is the realness I'm faking, taking my time but it's time that I'm wasting. That's how I feel about my life a lot of times. I want to be truly happy and fulfilled, but often I don't quite feel it, so I fake it. I put on a happy face and go on. I'm taking my time through life, doing things in my thirties that most people finish in their early twenties. I've yet to find a man worthy of marrying. I feel like I'm wasting time - stuck.


Love, love L-O-V-E this Snow Patrol song:

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

~Run, Snow Patrol

Favorite lines emphasized

Symbolically Challenged

I'm four chapters behind in my symbolic logic class. I've been struggling to get caught up the last two weeks, but the harder I try to get ahead the more I feel stuck. I'm spinning my wheels, running in place and I can't get passed chapter four!

I get the rules. I see them, and while they don't make a whole lot of sense, I do understand them enough to apply them - at least I think I do. It's just when I get to the derivations of disjunction elimination I get a 'deer caught in the headlights,' glazed over look of confusion.

The first part I can do, no problem. After that, though, I'm completely lost. Looks like I'll be spending my Saturday in the lab working on symbolic logic and getting help from the class assistants.

Deep Thoughts

On the turning away
From the pale and downtrodden
And the words they say
Which we won't understand
"Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away"
It's a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting it's shroud
Over all we have known
Unaware how the ranks have grown
Driven on by a heart of stone
We could find that we're all alone
In the dream of the proud
On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite
In a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
Mesmerized as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night
No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away?

~On The Turning Away, Pink Floyd