Feelings I Don't Understand

I've been thinking of my ex a lot the last week. We've only been broken up a few weeks, but I didn't think of him too much until lately. In light of how he treated me, especially toward the end, I thought it would be easy to move on, especially, still, once I realized I felt so happy without him. So what's the problem?

I'm not sure, to be honest. I love my new found freedoms. I can come and go as I please. I don't have to be tied to him or any communication devices. I can concentrate on my studies, and I'm free to choose a graduate school and program at will. But something is missing.

I miss him. I miss his good qualities. I miss our talks, his jokes and sense of humor. I miss planning our future together. I miss feeling like I had a future with someone. I miss hearing (or reading) his I love yous. I miss sleeping with him, turning over in bed and feeling him move close behind, put his arms around me and hold me. I miss taking roadtrips and vacations with him. We always went on awesome vacations. We had fun together. I don't know when that stopped or whose fault it was. There is no use in laying blame. I'm sure we both did things that were wrong or inappropriate.

At times I don't understand my expectations or why they are so high. In fact, they are close to perfection in some instances. I think I expect to be the center of attention, at least on a sub-conscious level. Sometimes I know I am wanting attention, other times I don't realize it. I want things my way, but I do know how to compromise.

All of this to say: I think I want him back. If he were to come to me tomorrow and ask if we could try again, I think I would agree to it. Does that make me stupid? A fool? An idiot?