Joy Rising

There are changes going on inside me. I'm much more focused, and I'm happier than I have in a long time. One of the most amazing things happened to me today - I thought of my dad and smiled.

I've been trying to get caught up on reading for one of my classes. There are three different books that are being used in this particular class. I've been focusing on one book in particular because it has the most readings assigned to it. I got a different book out today. I forgot I had started reading it a few weeks ago. Right where I left off was my bookmark. It has a poem on one side and my dad's obituary on the other. I smiled as I read the short blurb of his life for the nth time.

While hot tears still fill my eyes and could easily stain my cheeks, the love I feel for him is more powerful than the pain I feel from losing him and thoughts of never seeing him again.

I feel hopeful that things will continue to get better, that I will make it through this - one of the darkest times of my life. I have my drive and a little bit of my pep back. I'm looking forward to graduating in May and trying to decide on the next step - grad school, law school or just get a job and be done with it for a while.